Finding Yourself: Support and Spiritual Groups

Hello Readers! So, I have mentioned recently that I am not a part of a Mommy and Me group, and I may have mentioned that I’m not a part of any group at the moment.  It isn’t that I don’t want to be a part of a group; it’s that I haven’t found the right one for me.  And today, I want to talk about the importance of being a part of a support or spiritual group.

So, let me start with the personal.  I barely slept last night, but not because of our son Sean.  He slept fairly well.  But me, well, I couldn’t get comfortable and I had way too much on my mind.  My months of being phone free ends tomorrow, at it will mark about a month and a half (almost two months) without a phone.  I kept thinking about everything I’m going to have to reset on it since the issue was a recall on the motherboard, or the brains of the entire thing, and that had to be replaced.  And then I had to think of what apps I had installed on my phone before.  And then I realized that the first week of October will mark one year since my father’s death hit me or since I got over the shock of losing him.  And from there, I spent the rest of the night reflecting over everything that has happened since Ryan and I got engaged at this time in 2014.

In two years, our lives have been turned upside down in so many ways.  We were excited about our marriage plans, not the wedding plans as neither of us wanted a big to-do to begin with.  Shortly after our engagement, he had been offered a great promotion in Georgia.  I was back in school to get teaching credits for a teaching license since I already had a degree.  We had hope that things would be great.  And, starting in May of 2015, disaster and stress struck every month until now.  And its effect shows now.  We are not a perfect couple; we fight.  It never results in violence, but we have our tiffs.  I constantly feel stressed and at a loss for what to do.

And the answer is very simple: I need a support group.  I need somewhere to go to talk about what I’m going through.  At this point, however, I don’t know what group would be right for me.  Do I join a grief group, a new moms group, a SAHM group, or a different group?  I fit in all and I fit in none.  I had thought about joining a prayer group or a bible study group, but I currently don’t belong to a church.  And, I want to find a church to attend, but with Ryan working 60 hours a week and having to work Sundays, and having Sean to care for alone, I don’t want to go alone.  Besides, I want it to be a family decision to join a church and attend together, which is starting to become an attainable goal given that we are seeing more interest in new positions for him with other companies.  He even has a second interview scheduled with one company for a wonderful position with a fantastic company and a great schedule that will, for the most part, allow for Sunday services every week.

Why is church so important to me?  Because there is a real sense of community and fellowship within a church.  When I was a kid, we attended services every week.  I became very active in my church as a teen, which helped me refrain from attending parties throughout high school; I didn’t need to party, I loved being a part of my church.  I loved the friends I made, I loved the community that surrounded me.  And that was shattered by lies, deception, and church politics that chose me, as well as several of our youths, as the victim.  I lost my faith after that; I lost my community.  It took me years after the former priest-the center of the problem-left the church for me to attend once again.  But even then, when I was newly returned, I had many people from my past community who attempted to pull me in to the gossip ring and rumor mill as well as into their church politics.  And it ruined the sense of fellowship and community for me.

I have, since then, attempted to attend churches within the same religion in my new area.  But I haven’t liked them.  I didn’t feel right with them.  And I have researched religions and I have a few I want to check into, but I want my husband there to decide with me.  And so, my spiritual support group will have to wait.

But I feel it’s important that we join support groups, be it of a personal nature or a spiritual one.  A Mommy and Me group may not be right for me but it will be for other moms.  A bible study group may not be right for you but it may be right for your best friend.  A grief support group may be right for me but not for my best friend.  We are all different, and there are always support groups available for us to attend.  I am a firm believer in being a member of these groups because they are all inclusive and they give everyone a sense of community and fellowship.  There are others there with the same needs and the same support that you need and give.  And yet its members can be as different as night and day.  Even Alcoholics’ Anonymous, Narcotics’ Anonymous, and Gamblers’ Anonymous have this community and fellowship mentality for their members.  Every member that attends has the same issue and same needs, and every member provides support and empathy for one another.  And we all need something like that in our lives.

So, readers, I challenge you to join a support group or spiritual group like I am doing.  Is there a prayer group or bible study at your church to join?  Or is there a Mommy and Me group that you want to try?  I challenge you to find one that suits your needs by the new year.  I will find one myself by then, and I am eager to begin!

Until next time,

-BBM

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